Have you ever noticed that there seems to be an abundance of resources (if you know where to find the right ones!) surrounding birth and babies, but all of a sudden that support comes to an abrupt end?
Think about your journey into parenthood. It probably brings up fuzzy feelings of excitement, anticipation and a general sense of all encompassing support. You probably had a baby shower or mother blessing where you friends and family surrounded you with love and gifts. You may have even been one of the lucky one’s who’s friends made a roster for organising home cooked meals for you after the baby is born!
You see your midwife regularly at the hospital and they are there just for YOU! You may have even had the added support of a doula!
But what happens next?
You bring baby home and are in a bubble of either love and oxytocin or anxiety and fear (depending on which way your birth went!). You get home visit’s from the midwifes for a few days and are flooded with messages, phone calls and visits from your loved ones! This may go on for a week or two. It all seems very surreal, your body has been through a massive upheaval and your mind doesn’t really know what to think! You are in that newborn bubble and kind of just getting through wondering what the “f’ just happened.
But then the visits start becoming few and far between, the Facebook notifications die off and hubby goes back to work at this stage too. Suddenly you’re left alone to care for your new baby, and maybe the other kids too. You’re still sore, your breasts are probably engorged and leaking milk everywhere and somehow you’re expected to resume household responsibilities, while trying to nurture this tiny life you have just created, who a couple of weeks ago was not even earth-side!
What happens next is often a lull.
You’re not overly happy but not sad either, just kind of meh. Of course you love your baby more than anything else in the world, but everything just seems like a bit of an anticlimax… What the hell just happened?
This may last for some time, or may still be going on. You’re not really sure what you should be doing now.
Is this it for me? Shopping, cleaning, feeding, settling and Netflix?
All everyone every talks about is how long the baby is sleeping, ways of increasing (or decreasing ) milk supply, food intolerances and baby poo! This get’s old after a while…. especially if you are now a few kids in.
Isn’t there supposed to be more to life?
The answer is YES! A BIG FAT YES!
You can have your cake and eat it too. We just need to bridge that gap in support and come together collectively just how our ancestors would have. We need to be there for one another, cheering each other on and using this time in between paid work to enjoy life! Live it to the fullest and realise our dreams can be achieved.
This should be the most joyous time in our lives. A time of exploration, personal reflection and immense joy!
You may be thinking OK Christie, that is all well and good but I am so far into my hole that I don’t know how to get out. The good news is that I have been thinking about this long and hard for some time – as I was in exactly this position and have come up with the mindful mums project!
This is very dear to my heart and I want you to join me on my journey of self-love and help you find the happiness and pleasure in your life again. Forget the toddler tantrums, dinner time battles and spend four weeks with us working out how you can make YOU happy!