We’ve all done it. We have all swapped war stories with our friends. But when did motherhood become this massive competition to see who’s had it the worst and who has been through the most shit?
Why aren’t we celebrating our wins and motherhood in general? In Australia we seem to have this tall poppy syndrome where we put our friends down as if to “bring them back down to earth”. Are we too afraid and embarrassed to share the wonderful moments in our days?
There seems to be a trend in mummy blogs to share all the “real” moments. But why are these real moment’s always the bad ones? Why is it that if you share your happy stories and memories people seem to think it’s some kind of facade? I am just going to say it… motherhood IS awesome and the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love my kids and my life and I wan’t to get the message across that if your crappy moments turn into crappy days, and then weeks it is time to seek help. There is no normal way to feel or to be but if you are unhappy in your life it is okay to seek support! No one will judge you and you will not be deemed a failure in this competition they call motherhood.
Yes, motherhood CAN be lonely.
Yes, motherhood CAN have you reaching for the wine at the end of a long day.
Yes, motherhood CAN break you at times.
But there are strategies you can use to cope with these moments. And thats all they should be, moments in your day. They should not consume you or define you.
We have been receiving a lot of feedback lately that mothers are losing themselves. They are getting overwhelmed in their role that is parenthood. When did this happen? And why is it just accepted? We want to help these women and we want to help you!
We want women to start listening to their bodies and get in touch with what is happening inside. There is a reason for everything and I think sometimes it’s easy to forget to stop and take a moment to get to the root of the problem. We seem to be reaching for these bandaid solutions all the time when instead we should be seeking out proper support.
You hear the stories in mummy groups all the time “I had mastitis 7 times”. Instead of swapping war stories we should be supporting one another and building a tribe or circle of connected mummas.
A classic example of this is the way we view the post-partum period in our society. Does anyone really ask how the mum is? Not really! It’s all about how quickly she recovered and was back to her daily tasks. In other cultures they have a lying-in period where the mother spends the time she needs recovering from the birth and her close friends and family look after her. This is so that she can focus on breastfeeding and bonding with her new baby. Doesn’t it sounds lovely? Wouldn’t we love to have this kind of support in our day to day lives.
The thing is it is not just going to happen. You need to ask for help when you need it. You need to let your friends and family in and start opening up about what is really going on. Yes, this may open you up to being a bit vulnerable and possibly losing the competition of who has the thicken skin… but so what?
We need to start looking after ourselves and each other. This means reaching out when we feel the need and offering support wherever we can.
If you resonate with this post we would love to hear from you! Leave us a comment or click HERE to find out more about our Mindful Mums Project. Our aim is to help mothers find themselves, break the mould and start listening to themselves to find a new kind of happiness for themselves and their families.